


Merry Thanksgiving

by nitro9



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Christmas, Dodgy Elves, Don't Tell Jane!, Friendship, Gen, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27786022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitro9/pseuds/nitro9
Summary: While running an errand at the mall, Lisbon and Van Pelt discover a thieving ring at Santa's Village and decide to take it down.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Merry Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [holtzlister](https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzlister/gifts).



> This is my gift for holtzlister for Patrick Jane's Gift Exchange! The prompt was Platonic Lisbon/Van Pelt! I confess, this idea took a long time to come together, I hope I did it justice!

Jane pulled the last scrap of paper from the cup and handed it to Rigsby. The team was huddled around Van Pelt's desk, excluding Lisbon who was stuck in meetings all day. They each held a small piece of paper and were looking at him, waiting.

He hummed, rocked slightly on his heels, then pointed at each of them in turn, predicting the names they held. "Rigsby, Van Pelt, Cho. Desk is me," He indicated the lone scrap laid out. They each checked their papers and nodded. 

"Where's the paper with Lisbon's name?" asked Van Pelt. Jane patted his vest pocket with a smile and pulled the paper just enough to reveal the corner.

"How do you do that?" demanded Rigsby. “Every time.”

"There must be something he can feel," Cho stated. "Bent corners or something." He stuck his paper back in the cup. "It's only five names."

"Oh, I can go bigger. Who do you want to add? How many teams? I could include the whole floor, no problem."

"Sure, you do that," Cho sat at his desk and picked up his book, dismissing the demonstration.

"I don't know. I think you're just showing us how easily you could rig the Secret Santa," said Van Pelt. 

Jane's smile widened. "You tell me who you want, Grace. I'll get you that name."

She smiled coyly and turned back to her computer screen. Jane sat heavily on his couch and picked up his cup of tea.

"Who's talking about Secret Santa?" Lisbon asked, her voice high. She stopped by Rigsby's desk, her arms loaded with paperwork. "It's barely Thanksgiving."

Jane blinked at her slowly. 

Lisbon blinked back. There was greenery in the bullpen. And twinkle lights. Baubles and wreaths. "That wasn't there this morning," she accused, sucking in a breath and closing her eyes against it.

"You should lay off those meetings," Jane said smoothly. "They are dulling your senses."

"Three days without a case," Rigsby grumbled. He leaned back in his chair and threw paper clips at a cup. "That's what will do it."

"Yeah, well those meetings generated some work for everyone."

The three agents perked up. Jane rolled his eyes and sipped his tea.

"Cho," she shuffled her papers and set a folder on his desk. "Need you to audit these numbers. Rigsby, got some loose ends with some of your paperwork." She dumped more folders, ignoring Rigsby's huff of annoyance. She knew this wasn't the kind of work he wanted, but he would do it without further complaint. She crossed over to the couch. 

Jane held up his cup as a barrier. "I didn't sign up for any busy work, Lisbon. I can occupy myself upstairs if you need me out of the way."

"Why did the crow sneeze?"

"Uh.. allergies."

She glared at his flippant answer. "I've got a cold case for you. This one is downright frigid. If you crack it, there's a box of tea in it for you." Since his hands were occupied, she dropped the remaining stack of files next to him on his couch.

"Is that the best the CBI can do? Barely a stocking stuffer. I already have tea."

"Yeah well, we all have to do our part to meet the end of the year budget caps."

"Anything for me?" asked Van Pelt, noticing her empty arms.

"Yes." Lisbon spun on her heels. "You're with me. We've got a little errand to run."

The younger agent straightened in her chair, then stood up stiffly. "Sure, boss. Where are we going?"

Lisbon's gaze lingered on Jane while she spoke. "Firearms recertification."

x

Few things were more satisfying than hitting a tight grouping at the shooting range. Lisbon finished her last round and stretched her shoulder. Van Pelt stood by as she waited for her paper target to move up on the motorized rail. 

"How's it feeling?" Van Pelt asked.

"Fine. I had my last physical therapy appointment last week. Full recovery."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Good shooting today. You look comfortable."

"Thanks, I'm feeling good. I'm glad to be back out there."

“You know I don’t blame you,” Lisbon said softly.

Van Pelt stuffed her hands into her pockets, looked away. “I know.”

"You have good instincts, you need to learn to trust them again. Have you talked to someone?" Van Pelt stared at her shoes. "Grace..."

"Yeah, I have. A little. Are we done here?"

Lisbon nodded curtly. She grabbed her target paper and the ladies went to check out with the instructor. As they were leaving the building Lisbon got a notification on her phone. "Do you mind if we swing by the mall on the way back? I've got something to pick up."

"Sure."

x

"It looks like Christmas threw up in here," Lisbon said in disgust. 

Wreaths, oversized toy decorations, boxes wrapped in shiny red paper, all the bows, fake candles and twinkle lights. It dominated all along the railings and piled up in the displays.

Van Pelt shrugged. "I think it's nice."

"It would be nicer in two weeks. They set up earlier and earlier every year."

"I guess." She was unconvinced, but she didn't want to rock the boat.

Lisbon took her bearings and led the way through the surprisingly crowded walkways. "I need the bookstore. A quick in and out," she explained. She paused at the top of the escalator, looking down into one of the atriums. "Who goes to see Santa before Thanksgiving?"

A full sized Santa's village was set up, all red and green and fake snow and huge candy canes. There was a winding line with a constant stream of people. Several workers were dressed up like Santa's elves to assist the customers and keep things running smoothly.

"Christmas cards," said Van Pelt.

Lisbon shook herself out of her daze. "What?"

"They want a picture of their kids with Santa for their Christmas cards," she explained. 

Lisbon’s eyes went distant. “Oh yeah, I get one from my brother every year.” She shook herself from the memory. “A bit over the top.”

"Maybe. I just see Christmas cheer."

"I suppose we have to go down there."

"It's not so bad."

Lisbon stepped onto the escalator, committing herself to the push and pull of young families. 

They walked past a bag check at the beginning of the line. A young woman dressed up as an elf efficiently poked through purses and diaper bags, occasionally speaking into a walkie-talkie. 

"Security detail for Santa. Seems wrong.”

Van Pelt smiled widely at her boss’s continued snark, then noticed something that sobered her. "Hey, boss."

Lisbon turned to her.

"I think I just saw something shady. With one of the elves."

"What sort of shady are we talking?"

"Pick pocketing."

"Mall security can handle it."

"Sure." Her eyes darted back towards the line. She clearly wanted to help these families.

Lisbon sighed. "I'm going to pick up my book. You stay to figure out what you saw, and I'll swing back this way when I'm done."

"Thanks, boss."

Twenty minutes later Lisbon was back with a small bag from the bookstore. She sat on the bench next to her colleague and cracked her neck. "These lines are bad everywhere," she observed. Van Pelt nodded vaguely in her direction, still tuned into the action. "What did you find out here?"

"There are three of them in on it. The bag checker screens for valuables, the kid wrangler takes it, and the photographer collects it. Not sure how they’re sneaking it out yet.”

"So how would you take them down? Hypothetically?"

Van Pelt rattled off a plan. 

"Have you been spending too much time with Jane lately?"

Van Pelt hesitated, unsure if that was supposed to be a compliment or not. Lisbon was too busy studying the elves to notice. After a long moment, she nodded slightly. "Yeah, okay. Lets do it."

x

Lisbon was determined to handle this correctly. If Van Pelt was right, they were outnumbered by perps, which meant they needed backup. And they both agreed they didn’t want Jane anywhere near this.

"CBI? The same CBI that had that fiasco at the Pinewood Shopping Mall last month?" The head of security prodded. He had a pinched face, Lisbon wondered if he ever smiled.

"Yes. That was us."

"Wait. CBI you, or you specifically?"

"We weren't there, but it was our team."

"And you want to make a mess on our turf now? No thanks."

"We were setting a trap for Red John, the serial killer. We didn’t expect him to be there himself, so it got messy. You’ve heard of Red John?”

"Yeah," he conceded.

"This isn't anything like that. Just looking to take out some small time crooks."

"Thanks for the notification. But we can pick them up from here. It's kind of our job." He turned dismissively. 

"I don't think you understand." Lisbon leaned forward and paused to make sure she had his full attention. "There are three of them, moving stuff around. We have a plan to catch them in the act, with the goods. Anything else, they're just going to walk."

"Lady--"

"Agent."

He paused. "Agent. We're talking about elves, right? Minimum wage seasonal workers? Probably roll over as soon as you flash a badge."

"And if they don't? One guy, maybe I would go with that theory. Three? That's an unusual display of coordination for a seasonal display that's only been up for a week." She stared him down. "We're doing you a favor here. Just hang back in case we have a runner. No uniforms."

The guy rolled his eyes and got out his walkie talkie. "Hadley and Andersen, report to the office. Caught an assignment for you." He jutted out his chin in a display of dominance. "Anything else I can do for you ladies?" he asked sarcastically.

Lisbon stared at him coolly. "You got a lost and found?"

x

Not much later, Lisbon was decked out in baby gear. Her face was scrubbed clean of any makeup. She had her hair tied back in a high ponytail, a diaper bag slung crosswise at her back, and a blanket wrapped doll in a front carrier. She straightened and admired herself in a mirror, her arms hung loose at her sides. "You really think this will pass?"

Van Pelt held back a laugh. "It's a kid, not a bomb. I mean --" She bit her lip.

Lisbon swallowed hard and glanced away. "It's fine."

"You want me to do it?"

"No, you've got tech. I can handle a doll in a carrier." She rolled her shoulders. "Help me sell it."

Van Pelt worried her lip a little more. It was her operation, it just felt wrong to give notes to her boss. "Um, you need to loosen up a little. Lean in, bounce and sway. It's a baby, stay close."

"It's strapped to me, I can't get any closer."

"The posture is what makes it convincing. You go to see Santa, people will expect that bundle to be a baby. But if you don't act like you care about it, they're going to look closer."

Lisbon swung her arms up around the carrier and bounced with her knees. "Better?"

"Bring your head down a little, like you want to kiss it's forehead."

Lisbon stretched her neck out unnaturally. She wrinkled her nose. "Was this the only doll? It kind of stinks."

Van Pelt sniffed the air and put her finger under her nose. "That's unfortunate."

"Yeah, I'm not kissing it. But if it gets me through the line faster, I'll roll with it. Anything else?"

"Have you thought of any backstory? Name, age?"

She fought back a sarcastic comment. She didn’t want to spend anymore time in this get up than necessary. "I'll think about it. Let's get this show on the road."

x

Lisbon joined the back of the line. The mom in front of her had a wriggling toddler in a stroller. Cheerios went flying as the kid smashed his snack. The mom snagged a few from the ground and stuck them in the built in cup holder, out of the way. She kicked the rest aside.

The woman caught Lisbon's frown and smiled weakly in return. Then the mom caught sight of the tiny bundle in Lisbon's arms and her face transformed into a glowing smile. "Oooo, tiny baby!" she cooed, leaning far too close. Were moms immune to this smell? Lisbon leaned back. "How old?"

"Six weeks," she pulled a number out of the air. 

"Oh, and out and about already," the mom said in a high pitched baby voice that made Lisbon want to leave the line. "A sweet little girl."

Lisbon blinked. She hadn't really thought about it, but the blanket was pink. Sure, she could go with that.

"What's her name?"

She hadn't expected this interrogation. Maybe she should have given more time to the question of backstory. But the perfect name came to her and she smiled the first genuine smile since strapping this crazy thing on. "Jane."

"Oh what a sweet little girl, yes you are."

Lisbon leaned back further, worried about her cover. She pointed towards the mom's stroller. "Uh, the line. It's moving."

The mom pulled back. Lisbon relaxed. "First Christmas with your baby. They grow up too fast," she sniffed, then turned and swiped at the blanket her child had discarded from the stroller, and she moved up in the line. 

Lisbon held back a little, crossing her fingers that the mom wouldn't turn back to engage her again. But her little one seemed to have her attention now, judging by the low key argument that was happening at the front of the stroller. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. 

She looked over at Van Pelt and saw her stifling a laugh. Yeah, it was pretty funny. She hid a smile behind the baby bundle she carried. She cleared her throat at the smell. She willed the line to move faster.

The bag checking station came up pretty early on in the process. It only took a couple minutes to get there in the line. The lady flipped through the stroller mom's diaper bag and purse with a bored air. When she gestured Lisbon forward, Lisbon raised her eyebrows apologetically. She lifted at one side of the strap and turned her back to the table, getting the bag up onto the edge of the table.

"So sorry," she offered, turning her head. "I'm a little tangled up today." 

This arrangement gave the bag handler free reign to look through her stuff, not knowing that she was being monitored from across the way. "No problem," the lady told her. A few moments later Lisbon heard her murmur something into her walkie-talkie. Van Pelt was watching like a hawk, her hand up to her ear. Lisbon watched her watching. Van Pelt pulled her hand away and nodded at Lisbon. 

"All set here," the lady stated and slid the bag closer to the edge of the table.

Lisbon applied her smile again. "Thanks," she leaned forward and pulled the bag off the table to rejoin the line.

This waiting was the hardest part. The line wound back and forth through a marked area. She was still amazed that so many people were here this early in the season, their children decked out in their Christmas finery. 

Who had time to plan this far ahead? Her own memories of visiting Santa were much more chaotic than this. 

She looked ahead in the line and saw a harried mom wrangling three small children. Two of them had lollipops to keep them occupied, and the third was crying, her lollipop stuck in her hair. The mom pulled it out, licked off the extra fuzz, and gave it back to the child before grabbing a wet wipe to clean her hair. 

She was torn between a vague horror, and the admiration that came from the woman’s acute problem solving skills. Being a mom was no joke. This balancing act seemed more accurate to her memories. Not of her mom, but of the years that she became the mom to her brothers. There were no visits to Santa then.

What a weird day. She looked ahead to the helpers at the front of the line. Van Pelt had fingered the kid wrangler as the thief. He would encourage the kids to sit or stand by Santa, then hang back by the mom and observe, helping to entertain them to behave, smile, look at the camera. On occasion he would stop off and consult with the camera person, perhaps poke around their props. 

It took her awhile to notice the hand offs. She had doubts for a solid five minutes, that maybe Van Pelt was wrong. Or there had been a shift change. But Van Pelt was listening to their chatter, they had done the work. She finally noticed a slip, as he put something in his vest pocket as she was nearing the front of the line. This guy was good. 

The lady in front of her took her son out of the stroller and brought him up to Santa. The kid was a fine young man, very cute, wearing a bow tie and sweater vest. Lisbon bobbed and swayed with her baby. Santa looked pretty good too. The mall clearly took this gig seriously. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

It was her turn. The elf in charge of kid wrangling looked at her expectantly. "How are we doing this today?" he asked.

"Oh, I was just going to hold her. That's okay, right?"

"Sure." He had shifty eyes.

"I have a Santa hat in my diaper bag, could you reach that for me?" Lisbon turned her back and waited. Van Pelt had come closer, ready to move in. She was watching their exchange and nodded to let Lisbon know he had taken the bait.

Santa hat in hand, Lisbon screwed up her face in indecision. “You know, I’m not sure. Maybe we need a prop. One of those reindeers?”

“You want it, you got it.” He went back to the photographer’s booth where the camera and lights were contained along with some big prop pieces.

Lisbon followed. There were large duffel bags in the booth by the camera. She prodded one with her foot. It didn’t feel like camera equipment.

The elf noticed her. “You shouldn’t be back here, I’ll bring it out.”

Lisbon stood her ground and let go of the baby. “I changed my mind again. You’re under arrest.” She flashed her badge. “Both of you.”

“That’s preposterous! On what grounds?”

“Theft. We’ve been watching you, you have quite the operation going on here.”

A thin man wearing a floppy Santa hat and a dress shirt with tie appeared. “Is there a problem?” he asked. 

Lisbon pulled out her cuffs. “You’ll be short handed for awhile.” She nodded at Van Pelt who already had the bag checker in cuffs. 

Seeing their associate in custody, the others gave up easily. 

x

“Your tag, your bag,” the security guard stated when they showed up in the office with the thieves, the duffle bags, and a small security escort.

“Isn’t it standard to call SacPD?” Lisbon asked.

He leaned back in his chair. “Go ahead and call them. Or take them back to your own station. Makes no difference to me, you made it clear this was your operation.”

Lisbon and Van Pelt shared a long look. They did not want talk of this at the CBI rumor mill. 

“Guess we’ll be here awhile,” Lisbon breathed and took out her phone to call in the arrest.

“Sorry, boss.”

“It’s the job.” She stated. She stretched her back and reached back with her other arm to release the buckle on the carrier, fumbling around to find it.

“I got it,” said Van Pelt. 

Lisbon breathed easier without the smelly doll strapped to her anymore. “Thanks. Grace? You did good today.”

Van Pelt smiled shyly. “Thanks, boss. You too.”

x

"You ladies were gone a long time," Jane remarked upon their return. "Everything good at the range?"

Van Pelt straightened her desk, preparing to go home. A couple hours had passed waiting for SacPD, then giving their statements and transferring evidence and handing over the suspects. Cho and Rigsby had already left for the day. "Yeah," she said easily, catching Lisbon's eye.

"Passed with flying colors," Lisbon said proudly. 

"Glad to hear it. Any other adventures on this fine day?"

"Just an errand at the mall," Lisbon said, not meeting his searching gaze. 

He smiled at her evasion, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Van Pelt looked between them and excused herself. "Goodnight, boss. Jane."

"Good work today, Van Pelt."

She smiled, quite pleased, and breezed out of the room on cloud nine.

Jane watched her go. "You had a very good day."

Lisbon shrugged. "I suppose so. Oh, when we do set up that Secret Santa exchange, I need Cho's name."

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, that’s disappointing. I was thinking we could pack the pool with our names this year."

"I have something for Cho," she insisted, smirking.

"You know there are spending limits on these things."

"It was hard to find, it wasn't expensive."

"Lie to yourself all you'd like Lisbon, but me? You're quite the piece of work," he edged closer to her. "A trusted official in law enforcement, bending the rules, and for what? A little Christmas cheer? I didn't think you had it in you."

"I'm the boss, not the grinch."

"Abuse of power." He stopped within arm's reach of her and wrinkled his nose. "You smell that?"

Lisbon backed away. "It's been a surprisingly long day, I'm going home. Goodnight, Jane."

As she rushed towards her office, Jane continued sniffing the air. "That's not gunpowder. You can't keep secrets from me, Lisbon!"

She spun to face him as she walked. "Nothing to tell!"

"You've got tinsel in your hair! And you smell like baby!"

“Go home, Jane!”

He watched her disappear into her office and retreated to his couch. He smiled. This was going to be a fun one to figure out.


End file.
